Unbelievably it has been two years since I contracted H1N1 which then set the Lupus which had been in remission into full force illness. I have spent a lot of days sleeping to heal and have had a lot of time to think. Here is what I think:
My body is not who I am. My spirit/soul/mind is who I am and that part of me is very healthy. During this entire two years I have had very few times when I have felt down or depressed. Of course I have been frustrated at the disease process, but that doesn't affect my internal self. I keep on thinking and looking for miracles and enjoying the things that I can.
Here is the best part: I have the most wonderful, caring, loving and kind husband in the entire world. I tell him this all of the time. We are both tired of the illness, but we have found happiness and communication in the midst of all of this.
I have been completely bound in bed part of the time, Bob takes me to appointments in a wheelchair because the hospital is so big. I have chemo every other week and it takes me 10 days to feel better which sometimes only gives me two good days before the next treatment. Sometimes it feels like I am fighting cancer, only we look at blood tests for signs of remission instead of CT scans.
For those of you who pray for me, thank you. I think that is part of why I am upbeat. Please keep on praying that this body will get the message to heal. I want to walk and exercise and do gardening and ART!