Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Dreams and a Change in Venue

It has occurred to me that my initial desire to write about the artistic life has been a bit interrupted and some of my writing will now be about cancer and living with cancer. However, today I want to want to write about dreaming about art. It happens once in a while for me and is sometimes very intense. A few days ago I dreamed about a piece that I will do. The dream created the piece in its entirety with specific detail and color. I was amazed at the ease of concept within the dream. Conceptualizing a piece is sometimes the hardest work an artist does. In this dream it was already present, and now in real life it is already prepared for me. The only thing that the dream didn't specify was the medium. So, as my artist sister-in-law says, perhaps it is a series. I am thankful for this art activity, even if it is in my dream life. It means my creative spirit is still alive and shouting. With cancer it is sometimes difficult to remember what else you did with your life before cancer hit. Remembering in a dream is a great encouragement.

Thursday, August 24, 2006


It is amazing to me how much sleep is required to heal. Today was about one thing: healing.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Who Would Have Guessed

It has been a long time since my last post. I've been busy, just not with the art kind of life I enjoy so much. We have been on a couple of trips, totaling about 7,000 miles in driving miles. In the middle of all of it I was diagnosed with cancer - follicular lymphoma to be specific. I had a pretty intensive surgery to retrieve one of the tumors and ended up with a seven inch incision on my abdomen. It didn't heal well, so we packed it with sterile gauze for two months. The first part of July saw me again in the hospital to have a Port line placed in preparation for chemotherapy. I have had three sessions of Chemo now.

Nothing that I know in this world could prepare me for what chemotherapy is like. Most of all it is extremely tiring. Of course, that was one of the early symptoms for me - profound fatigue. The vomiting thing is pretty well controlled with drugs, and then more drugs to keep my white count up, and more drugs to stop the constant intestinal irritation.

When I began this journey I woke up one morning wondering, "What is the job description for fighting cancer?" Text will follow on further installations.

The important thing to me in this passage, if that is what it might be called, is that I intend to arrive on the other side of it a better person, more alive than I have ever been in my life and completely cured. I will not be beat!